From: [email-masked] (Andrew Michael Woodward)

I reprint this verbaitim from:-
'The United Nations of America'; Elmer P 'Dusty' Spittoonburger Jr,IIIrd;
Midwestern Potatoe-slice Press in assocation with Redneck Publ.Inc.

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                       The World.

1: The Centre

At the centre of the world is Central America and at the heart of Central 
America is Des Moines,Iowa. We will use this as a base for our explorations.

2: The North

Travelling north through Big Sky Country, famous for all its, er, sky. At the
top of this is a wall. This is here to keep out Canadians

Canadians are primitive people who dress in still-warm animal skins, live 
in houses made from snowballs and eat polarbears alive.

3: The South

Travelling south from Central America, you must pass through South 
America (Arizona, Texas, or Louisiana) before reaching Mexico. Mexico is 
where gardeners breed. It also is fenced off so the Canadians dont feel
hard done by. But enough holes are left in the fence that sufficient 
gardeners can sneak through at night.

Even further south is Antarctica where Californians go, on research contracts,
to Experience Something Truly New and to Expand their Personal Consciousness
Referential Databases. It is colder than Des Moines in winter.

4: The East

East from America is the Atlantic Ocean. This is a big ocean being several
tens of miles across. 

At the other side is Yerrp. Yerrp is made up of lots of
quaint little contries all of which would fit comfortably within the 
city-limits of Dead Squaw,Kansas. It is full of very old people who all live 
in picturesque castles with no heating. They have many centuries of 
Historic National History which they can all remember personally. Yerrpeans
are generally quite nice people, all things considered, and are lots of fun 
to take photographs of.

An hours drive further east is Ayrabbia. This is full of sand and Ayrabs.
Ayrabs shoot each other a lot, but otherwise are not at all like us. They
wrap their heads in towels so they cant see the depraved things they are 
doing to their camels, and never ever import Coca Cola.

Even further east is Russia. Russians are much easier to understand, being
simply Dangerously Un-American Commiebastards who sell their mothers to buy
Vodka, polish missiles all day, and dont eat apple pie.

5: The West.

To the west of America there is absolutely nothing except sea. At the end of 
this is the Newest State, but no-one can go there anymore since the budget 
cuts at NASA.

6: The Thirdworld.

There is also a country called the Thirdworld somewhere, but no-one really
knows where it is, and it is rumoured that evolution there hasnt got past 
protosimian hominids yet anyway.

7: Summary for World Explorers

It is best to ignore the North and the South since nothing 
happens there. To the East and West, the only places of any importance 
are those which can be reached in a winnebago.